Voices coming from the left

voices coming from the right,

from the front and back,

composing a never-ending symphony

of dreams unfollowed,

of traumas unhealed,

and of problems unsolved.

The mind shouts at me:

‘I want it all!’

The intelligence reminds me:

‘Control it all!’

The ego demands from me:

‘I can’t let go!’

And I, the soul, in the middle,

am trying to transcend them all.

My head is a battleground

for voices, never-ending,

foreign, distant, and mysterious.

For voices, vicious,

evil and depressing.

For voices, happy,

thoughtful and supporting.

Amongst all this storm and thunder,

amongst all the confusion and illusion,

amongst this battle between titan-like voices,

I the little soul,

the innocent civilian,

am trying to connect

with the Supersoul.

I scream and shout

day and night,

till I can’t hear even myself out!

Alas, all in vain,

all my efforts silenced

by the titans fighting

on the battleground

of my head.

I guess, there is one thing left

for me to do,

that is only pray to You!

Oh, dear Friend Divine,

don’t ignore me!

I may be a useless servant,

yet, I am trying to be Yours!

I may be after material gains,

yet, I try to call Your Holy Names!

Please, kindly make this battle of voices end

now and for all!

Please, let there be peace,

so, I can glorify You,

so, I can remember You,

so, I can adore You!

Oh, dear Friend Divine,

please, make all these voices go off,

and let me hear only Your Flute Divine!

The Acts of Love

 ‘Acts of Love’

Dear reader, it is hard to find anything permanent in this world. We are born, we grow up, we become adults, then we grow old, and at the end die. Days and nights come and go, seasons change, the Moon chases the Sun constantly as if in celestial pursuit… The clock never stops to take a breath. We build, we sustain, time destroys. We inhale, we exhale, and die in between. We come, we go. We travel, we dance, we smile, we cry, we celebrate, we mourn. TVs, houses, cars, watches, laptops, gadgets, phones, airplanes, ships, trains–all so called comforts of modern life–we don’t take with us when death knocks on our door. We change house, country, state, one, two, three, ten times…an endless cycle, indeed!

A constant repetition, dear reader! And if you happen to subscribe to a tradition based on karmic principles (as I do), then the picture becomes even more morose– this endless and painful cycle continues life after life. Happiness and distress dance eternally in the hearts of us forgetful souls ‘Depressing,’ you might scream dear reader, and I hear you. It is depressing, it is painful, it seems hopeless. And yet, remarkably against all odds, there is always hope.

Actually, hope is the active principle of faith and so is service. Therefore, no matter how much we deny ourselves, we are made of faith. Faith in a brighter tomorrow, faith in the next moment, faith in the belief that one day the Divine will shower us with His mercy. At the end of the day, dear reader, His mercy comes to fortunate souls through the Acts of Love of His servants.

God’s servants are indeed the carriers of His mercy, the messengers of His Love. Ultimately, when God’s servants Act out of Love – when they bring the mercy, they become the spark that ignites the fire, which starts a revolution in our hearts. In turn, these fortunate souls, who happened to encounter a messenger of Love, themselves become the carriers, the messengers of His mercy. Eventually, they start Acting out of Love. Consequently, the Rain of Divine Mercy continuously showers over the heads of fortunate souls eternally. Therefore, dear reader, do not despair, hope is always waiting for you around the corner. Allow it to enter your heart.

‘We are the stories we hear.’

One of the ways to encounter God’s messengers of Love is by reading or hearing stories of the Acts of Love they have performed for others. We are the stories that we hear. Stories underpin the human condition at every step. Stories are the fundamental building blocks of our identities and relationships. We are who we are because we tell ourselves the stories of who we are. Over time, we start believing these stories and in turn, we start living them. Ultimately, the stories we are exposed to through culture, society, and art, create our sense of self and of ‘I-ness’ and ‘mine-ness.’

In this way, dear reader, over time we enter the reality of impermanence. The reality of eternal suffering that I described above. Do you remember? Fortunately, it appears that the messengers of Love always carry a basket full of books filled with transcendental stories – the stories of God and His devotees. These stories are unlike any other stories, for they point to the direction of ultimate and eternal Reality.

The stories of the Srimad Bhagavatam describe the loving exchanges between God and His eternally surrendered souls. By hearing these stories, we the forgetful souls, slowly turn our hearts towards the ultimate spiritual Reality, where God and His eternal associates live in joy and service. A Reality in which every step is a dance, every word is a song, and every moment is bliss.[1] Who would not desire to reside eternally in such Reality?! However, the only way to get in touch with this Reality is through the selfless Acts of Love by the messengers of Love. God’s servants can show us the way, they can present to us these transcendental stories, they are our only hope.

So dear reader, let me tell you the story of how I met one such messenger of Love around one corner of the world. Four years ago, when I was an exchange student at McGill University, Montreal, I happened to encounter one of God’s servants on the city campus. I was in a hurry, late for class, but somehow, out of nowhere, this little skinny lady approached me, introduced herself as a monk, and presented a book into my hands. She started speaking about the author, about chanting some ancient mantra, about the author’s relationship with the Beatles, etc.

I was generally interested in what she was speaking, as I was practicing astanga-yoga for couple of years, so I was naturally attracted to meditation, and I was vegetarian as well. At the same time, I felt I was in a ‘I know it all’ and ‘Don’t waste my time’ mood. Thus, I was being a bit impatient with her. Eventually, I felt where things were going– a donation request for the book. Therefore, I quickly got a $5 out of my wallet and was about to walk away from her for my class. However, this messenger of Love, dedicatedly continued talking to me, about the author of the book, about me coming to where her place of worship was, etc. I simply told her, rather indifferently, that I would come to the temple at some point. Then, I walked away.

I never remembered the she-monk’s name, nor did I remember her face, neither did I ever go to her place of worship. Little did I know, dear reader, that this messenger of Love, would change my life in such a fundamental way. Little did I know, that this she-monk would be instrumental in my connection with such a saintly personality as A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami and his books.

Indeed, dear reader, little did I know, that this brief Act of Love towards me, at that moment in time and space, would have had a ripple effect on my consciousness that would put me on an adventurous path of dancing with (reading) the Shrimad Bhagavatam, the eternal Reality of God, and the loving exchanges between Him and His intimate devotees.

Such is the power of a simple Act of Love. It can transform one’s life in an instant. Four years down the road, I still wonder, what the she-monk’s name is. I still try to picture her face in my mind. I still wonder if I would ever go back to Montreal at some point in the future and be able to meet her and express my gratitude. Alas, I don’t remember her name, nor do I remember now how she looked like, neither if she is still around. I can only pray in my heart for her wellbeing and spiritual advancement from afar. But at the end of the day, this is the beauty of these Acts of Love– they are rewards in themselves.

‘May your deeds be your own reward.’

 There are countless stories about the Acts of Love in the Srimad Bhagavatam, dear reader. All of them exemplifying the extraordinary compassion, self-surrender, and total dedication for the Divine Person, Sri Krishna. Stories of little boys such as Dhruva Maharaja, who walked out into the jungle to meditate and find the Divine Person. Stories of great kings such as Ambarisha Maharaja, who worshipped the Divine with all his possessions and kingly wealth. Stories of great self-surrendered devotees such as Prahlad Maharaj, who was both fearless in the face of danger and compassionate towards his enemies who were trying to kill him (his own father in this case). However, the story of the Rasa Lila is the crown jewel of the Bhagavatam. It is the Story of all Stories, which describes the glories of the greatest devotees of God, the transcendental milkmaids – the gopis of Vraj – and their loving exchanges with their Beloved Lord, Sri Krishna.

The Bhagavatam consists of 12 cantos, containing 335 chapters and 18,000 Sanskrit verses. The Rasa Lila is just 5 chapters out of the 335. It is the story that presents the highest vision of the Caitanya School of Bhakti Yoga. There are unlimited aspects and teachings on Divine Love contained in the Rasa Lila story, described by various saintly devotees throughout the centuries.

I am not going to pretend I have fully understood, what to speak of realised all the teachings in this Sacred Love Story. However, dear reader, I just want to focus your attention on one aspect that is of importance for the purposes of this essay, as it acts as a personal inspiration for me.

In the penultimate chapter of the Rasa Lila, Krishna speaks about the nature of Love and the glories of the gopi’s Love towards Him. He explains the different types of lovers– the selfish, the self-less, and the self-satisfied.[2] Ultimately, Krishna is conquered by the gopi’s Love for Him and He proclaims:

Dear ladies,

          indeed, for my sake alone

 You have abandoned the world,

          the Vedas, and

          even your relatives,

           out of love for me.

 It was out of love for you

          that I became invisible,

          though you were never

          removed from my sight.

 Therefore, you should not be

           discontented with me—

           O dearest ones,

          I am your beloved!      21

I am unable to reciprocate,

          your faultless love for me,

          your own purity,

And all that you have

          sacrificed for me,

          even over the lifetime

          of a great divinity.

Severing strong ties

          to your homes so difficult

          to overcome, you have

          lovingly worshiped me.

 May your reward be

          your own purity.          22[3]

Krishna is glorifying the gopis by explaining to them that they have sacrificed everything for Him, therefore He is unable to reciprocate appropriately. However, Krishna is breaking His promise to His devotees. In the Bhagavad-Gita, Krishna tells His devotee Arjuna that: ‘As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly. Everyone follows My path in all respects, O son of Pṛthā.’[4] However, He is so impressed with and conquered by the gopi’s self-surrender to Him, that He proclaims: ‘May your reward be your own purity.’[5]

In other words, Krishna is glorifying the highest type of Love towards Him – a Divine Love untinged by any selfish motives, expressed through self-forgetful and self-absorbing Acts of Love for the Beloved Lord. In this way, He is breaking His promise that He will reciprocate in the same way as one surrenders unto Him. The gopi’s Love for the Divine Person is so pure, that ultimately their deeds, their sacrifices, their austerities become rewards in themselves. Their deeds become Acts of Love.

So dear reader, reflecting on my experience with the she-monk from the streets of Montreal, in line with the teachings from the Rasa Lila story, makes me realise that it does not really matter if I ever remember her name. Nor does it really matter if I ever remember how she looked like. Neither does it matter if I’d ever meet and thank her again. All it matters is that four years ago, a devotee of the Lord decided to walk out on the street, to sacrifice some of her time, energy, and health. A devotee of the Divine Person, a messenger of Love, decided to stop me, Mr. Forgetful Soul, and give me attention. A devotee of the Lord that decided to dedicate herself to serve the great saintly devotees of the past. Ultimately, all that matters, dear reader, is that this devotee of the Lord decided to Act out of Love on that day, and her only reward was that very Act.     

‘All relationships are opportunities to serve.’

 Yes, dear reader, this world, this impermanent reality, may seem depressing, we may experience pain and suffering. We may struggle daily. We may inhale, exhale, and die in between. However, one sunny day, by the Grace of the Divine Person and the Acts of Love of His devotees, we can receive the Gift of ultimate Reality. We can read and hear the stories of the Bhagavatam. We can pass them on and inspire the hearts of others. We can become the messengers of Love, we can carry the baskets full of transcendental books, and we can Act out of Love for others.

We come full circle – from a receiver of God’s mercy, we are transformed to a giver of His mercy. That is the beauty and potency of a simple Act of Love. It just takes one moment, one decision, one step towards becoming a servant of others. It takes one moment, to introduce other fellow forgetful souls to the taste and inspiration of serving the Divine Person. And the best thing about it is that the Acts of Love are rewards in themselves.  Ultimately, all our relationships in this world turn into opportunities to serve others. All our relationships become arenas to share the stories of how we have received the Gift from the messengers of Love. All our relationships allows us to be the spark, that ignites the fire, which starts a revolution in the hearts of others. In turn, we allow others, to start writing and sharing their own adventurous stories.


  1. Bhaktivedanta, A., 2014. Bhagavad Gita As It Is. Watford: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust
  2. Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī, 1991. Śrī Brahma-Saṁhitā. Los Angeles: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust.
  3. Schweig, G., 2005. Dance of Divine Love. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

[1] Brahma Samhita ch.5.56

[2] ‘Dance of Divine Love-Part I- Poems From The Bhagavata  Purana- p.63

[3] ‘Dance of Divine Love-Part I- Poems From The Bhagavata  Purana- p.64-5

[4] Bhagavad-Gita As It Is- 4.11

[5] ‘Dance of Divine Love-Part I- Poems From The Bhagavata  Purana- p.64-5

Here I am!

Here I am

standing with open hands,

empty heart,

bewildered mind.

Here I am

lamenting day and night,

poisoned by the

contents of my mind.

Here I am



begging the Divine:

‘What’s the purpose of this life?

Why can’t I just stop wasting time?

Simply show me a sign!’

Here I am

chanting your Names Divine,

by tongue, hands, and mind,

but yet somehow

my heart remains dead inside.

Here I am

preaching lofty ideals,

subscribing to Godly meals,

yet keeping the ego at centre.

Here I am

forgetting to let go

and remember that

You are in control.

Here I am

proclaiming to all,

that I am about to lose it all!

I guess that was Your plan

 from the get-go!

Here I am

standing now,

with an open heart,

ready to receive

what You are always

ready to give!

Oh, Dear Friend,

take my body by the hand,

infuse my intelligence,

and seduce my heart,

so I can become

the instrument of your Plan!

Here I am

waiting for Your

universal embrace!

Step up!

Hey dear friend,

I didn’t come here to

complain, nor indulge,

 or enjoy!

Your habits of attachment

are misdirecting

my practices of detachment.

You have tied my intelligence,

with the poisoning ropes of anger, greed and lust.

You have stolen my attention,

with your endless conversations.

Oh, dear mind,

I have nothing else to do,

but only preach to you!

It’s time for you to step up,

for you were born to endure,

for you were born to secure,

the hearts of others

from eternal starvation.

Step up dear friend,

for your time has come,

to be an instrument of Grace,

to help others transition into sacred space.

You can’t hold onto this body forever,

so simply get your act together!

When the time of death arrives,

will you be able to surmise

how well and how much

you gave yourself to others?

So, step up dear mind,

grab the torch of knowledge,

and help illuminate the path,

on the way of Salvation!

Step up dear mind,

for this Flute Player Devine,

is greedy for everybody’s adoration!

Step up dear mind,

do not despair,

for I always think of you

with the best of intentions!

Dancing with Death

From cradle to grave,

life is a dance.

Dance of bodies,

dance of minds,

dance of hearts.

Dance partners come and go,

but Death never let us go!

Boyhood, adulthood, and old age,

are the different styles we change.

Husbands, wives, daughters and sons,

are the different partners,

with whom we engage.

Step to the left,

step to the right,

dying slowly

 with every breath we take.

Sometimes we lose the rhythm,

often times we mistake the tune,

and most times we forget,

that Death leads the dance.

Dancing with Death daily,

makes our hearts fearless,

to forget ourselves,

and simply be the spark,

that ignites the fire,

in the hearts of others.

Dancing with Death daily,

is the only way for us

to embrace life fully,

in the here and now,

‘cause This moment is part of


‘cause This moment is part of


In Sound

At the start there was the Word.

In sound we are born,

in sound we shall die,

and sound shall remain.

Sound sustains, annihilates,

and procreates.

Sound creates realities and dimensions,

as well as all kinds of transfigurations.

Sound sustains all kinds of misconceptions,

as well as caters for our deepest misidentifications.

The sound of our sweet names,

attaches us to futile claims.

The sound of our minds,

distracts us from eternal gains.

But there is one special sound,

the sound of His Holy names,

coming from His flute Divine.

This transcendental sound

does not bind, enslave, or delude.

This transendental sound

is full of bliss and taste.

The mind shall die,

but transcendental sound shall not.

The body will die,

but transcendental sound shall not.

The ego will die,

but transcendental sound shall not.

On the path of salvation,

only transcendental sound remains.

Oh dear friend,

simply bathe in transcendental sound,

and you shall never be bound!

Living on Rent

Mine or yours,

yours or mine,

life is hard to define,

when our mind and heart

is empty of the Divine.

We forgetful souls,

have the habit of

claiming this and that to be ours.

We forgetful souls.

have the habit of,

controlling others.

A possessive voice echoes

within the chambers of our hearts:

‘This body is ours,

that mind is ours,

that land, that lake, that Earth-

all ours to manage.’

Forgetting the simple truth,

that right from the start,

life was something borrowed,

something gifted, something not ours!

Forgetting the simple truth,

that we are living on rent.

Rented bodies, rented talents,

rented hearts, rented minds!

But at the end of the day,

there is always rent to pay!

Our rent can’t be paid with

money, possessions, or power!

Our Landlord Divine,

has only one request-

to serve and dance,

until the final rest.

Our Landlord Divine,

has only one request-

to dive deep and surrender

all the rest.

‘Give up this body, this mind,

and come with Me,

for your Final Test!’-

Our Landlord Divine,

never ceases to call us

the forgetful souls,

with His Flute Divine.


Born in delusion,

bewildered with confusion,

always in illusion,

a broken record,

skips a beat

and echos in the chambers of my mind:

‘I am the doer, I am the master,

I deserve this, I deserve that!’

Pathetic condition, indeed!

The story goes on…

‘I am the greatest,

I am the smartest!’

slowly poisoning the heart,

constantly forgetting,

that it was all a Gift from the start.

This body, that mind, that voice,

these thoughts, these stories, these qualities,

all a Gift from the Divine.

Nothing is deserved,

neither gained,

nor achieved.

All is the Gift,

the Gift of mercy,

the Gift of Grace!

‘I am not the doer.

I am the vessel- the instrument of Grace!’

Let us be sincere,

let us be humble,

let us be the giver of Your matchless Gift,

let us always decorate the hearts of others,

with your loving playful Names!


The shackles of  lust

have entrapped my heart.

The fire of anger

is melting my heart.

The witch of greed

is enchanting my heart.

These three masters of hell

are conducting my will.

I look at the mirror

and king fear is ruling my will.

Faith has grown wings and left my heart.

I long for the days when I shot for the starts,

I long for the days when I took the leap,

I long for the days when I simply acted out!

Those days are long gone now!

In times of despair,

in times of darkness,

the only way out,

is calling Your Holy Name out.

I call and beg and I pray,

yet, it seems You can’t hear me out!

Kindly, give me Your hand,

so I can cross this ocean of lust,

so I can fly this mountain of anger,

so I can endure this storm of greed!

Kindly, bring this faith back to my heart,

so I can be the spark,

that will ignite the fire,

to start a revolution,

in the hearts of others!

Kindly, bring this faith back to my heart,

so I can make the leap,

that will make me fearless,

to Act out of Love for others!

Kindly, bring this faith back to my heart,

so I can share the matchless gift,

of calling Your Holy Name out!


An Ocean Full of Desires

 An ocean full of desires. You are in the middle of it.

Waves of intoxication come and go, come and go…

You are struggling to stay on the surface.

Here is one more big wave coming!

Watch out! Take a deep breath!


Too late! It hits you straight in the heart.

You almost drown in the poisonous depths of lust.

Somehow you resurface on this ocean full of desires.

You pray for mercy:

‘Oh dear Lord, make me a better swimmer!’

Before you know it, you are underwater again.

You resurface. Your ego bruised.

You begin to lament:

‘Oh dear Lord, why me? Why am I suffering?

Why are You not helping me?’

No response. Waves of intoxication-unending.

One after the other, come and go, come and go…

You are drowning slowly in this ocean full of desires.

A woodlike piece of happiness appears on the horizon.

You grab onto it. Peace for a while. Stillness.

Even the Sun comes out from the stormy clouds.

Alas, everything-temporary.

Sex desire comes in the form of a tidal wave.

It hits you.

You lose hold of the woodlike piece of happiness.

You are underwater. Again. Drowning.

‘God must be dead!’- you think.

Darkness everywhere.

Frustrations in the forms of stormy clouds.

Sun is hiding beyond them.

Hopelessness and helplessness drown your heart.

‘This is the end! I give up! I surrender!’-

you shout into the stormy sky.

Grace descends. God appears and Love with Him.

The sky clears out. Sun appears. Waves die out.

The shore is within reach. You swim. You arrive.

The ocean full of desires is no more.

You offer a prayer:

‘Oh dear Lord, I am Your servant!

You inspire my desires, thoughts, words, and actions!

Treat me as you wish! I surrender unto Your sweet Will!’

Now, resting on the safe shores of the Spiritual Realm.

Everlasting joy engulfs the atmosphere.

And your heart is filled with it.


PS: Inspired by Clare Wilson and her Camino Story- Fin Del Mundo

Thank you for being a great fellow peregrina! Buen Camino, dear friend!